Thursday, December 15, 2011

Follow my OWN heart =)

Well i hope this is the conclusion for the beggining of my story=)

Yea I DO LOVE HIM
But then i just cant find some safetiness from him...
like most girls wanted d "an quan gan"
i cant type chinese sorry@@
anyways..
really..
I cant find it from him...
he's good and perfect inside his heart..
but from the outside..
he's not what i had expected..
i din mean that i really care bout one's looks..
but then when i saw him It makes me hestitate more...
.......
........
its my personal thinking that I have to Overcome before i really have to start a relationship with him..
he's really, really nice...
nobody has ever been that nice to me..
well except my gang d frens of course...
he's great, he cares bout me
he remembers everything that i had said
and he's ambitious=)
lol but then he's SKINNIER than me physically
even thou he's five kilo heavier than me...
i really mind that part..
cause it looked like i am a big mamma sissy dating with her lil bro@@
i just cant imagine myself going out with him...
he's 13 days younger than me,..
but i dont mind that..
MY PARENTS do@@ haix..
well thge most important thing is that he's SKINNIER than me and then 
i cant feel SAFE  going out with him..
 i mean i do mind that i need those safetiness..
imagine when your boyfriend hugs u and u cant feel safe at all...
like its u guarding him not HIM...


i think that's my personal problem..
 i do mind other people's critisism towards me and my future boyfriend...
he's special to me but i need to change myself before i can really settle down and start a relationship with him..
he's the one that i want...
but I dont wanna hurt him if i start the relationship now..
sometimes i just wish that he has broad shoulders that i always dreamed my man would be and just embraced him forever..
but in the reality world.God just have to testify u to realise that a dream is a dream..
amd thank god for letting me get the chance to know him..
cause he's so far the best man that i have ever met..
he may look SKINNY and NERDY on the outside..
but on the inside he's too man to be a man...
so i'll just cross my fingers and PRAY hard that i could just overcome my own problems..
FOLLOW MY HEART
and have a happy ending with him in years to come
if u see this old man...
i hope u understand why i delayed it at the first place..
 i need to change myself and settle down and be more MATURE to be yours...
I LOVE YOU
and it never change=)




and i am stupid enough to eat your bait =)
XOXO

Well its been two years from now starting from the first day of me being a senior in Riam road secondary school...those two years are the two best years of my life..honestly...by getting the chance to strengthen our all sister's d friendship even though we are not at the same class and even the same school( i miss u wei sze)...lol our friendship still stands strong as it was before haha! have u ever thin of the days when one day u lost every single penny and every single reason for u to live and suddenly there's a big ray of light ahead of u and a lot of warm hands grabbing u up and supporting u all the way?? yea i guess this is the bast way to describe my gang, my big family, my sisters, my life <3 haha!
 well i might be sounding emotional now cause each and every one of us are going to be seperated since the seventh of december when the last paper of our SPM- chinese ends as a big full stop of our secondary life=) it's a sad moment to have to separate from my gang...a very sad moment...i will miss those days when we will sit together at lunch at the canteen..meeting up everyday and making fun of each other...organising group activities together and such...oh how i miss those moments!! when will we have these moments back then?? all of us are separated in the real world and we have our own future to care for...it's a blessing on how fast we are to greaduation and soon enough we will be graduating from universities again! well not to mention having our own true love and start a family *blush* lol its true cause time flies and who know's...tomorrow one of us will be a mother dy muahaha!
these five years...bring me so many good and bad memories...we do good thing, bad things, got our punishments and many more haha! there are so many things that we need about months to recall back all these things..honestly!! lol haha...
well our spm english essay topic tells me a right thing thou...the best things in life are always free=)
that was two hundred percent super true and no one can deny it=)
and the most important thing in life are of course-happiness
and you all are the ones that brings happiness to my life-friendship<3
a thing that cannot be described further but it lies a very deep meaning inside it...which i am lazy to say xp u know, i know, the whole gang knows..then jiu ok liao haha! xp
aly is going overseas next year...everyone are not studying in the same school..i will miss u all very very much d lay=( *sobs haha!
 but anyway..its been two years since i had touched this blog and i had finally worked out the password so..being emotional for a moment doesnt matter, rite?? =)
cheers my friends, for our future, for our friendship=)
Friendship Forever Guys...=)

Sunday, May 16, 2010

WTH!!!! I MISSED YOU SO DAMN MUCH!

One Day B$ The Exam...N i M STILL ONLINING!!!

what the hell..
oh ya haha...
been on fb in the afternoon n nw scanning my bm komsas info.
wth...
tomoro's gonna have the stupis stupid test..
cant go for dancing at TLD( BOOHOO)...
HAIX...June d performance jia you lor...
me dance like kns a..haha.. x3

haha...
tomoro me gonna have the test so jia you jia you jia you!!!
haha x3

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

tagged By Lik Yang

规则:
① 被点者请在自己的网志上打上答案
② 请传给另外十个人
③ 传阅人请在这十位被点的人的留言板上通知他,他被点咯!
④ 这当中的十位不得拒绝
⑤ 被点者请注明被谁点了在哪里接到再传给下十位
⑥ 这些被点名者,你们被点会祝福
⑦ 不可回点哦,并且愿望会实现和得到幸福
坐上幸福热气球, 开始咯

幸福热气球:第一阶段
① 绰号:wat lai de?? x3
② 星座:leo
③ 生日:09.08.1994
④ 兴趣:read books, playing piano=)

⑤ 血型:0
⑥ 最宝贵的东西:My heart x3, happiness, daddy n mommy, miko, frens=)
⑦ 最討厭的东西:sadness n rejection, failure

幸福热气球:第二阶段
① 有喜欢的人吗:ehem~
② 有交往吗:no
③ 幸福吗:ok la...

④ 她很爱你吗:go ask him lo..i donno
⑤ 如果你有勇气最想是什么: I've always have the reasonable reason why I have to hide from u...

幸福热气球:第三阶段
① 你被谁点:Lik Yang
② 他是你的谁:朋友
③ 他的个性是:Donno wor x3
④ 他长得怎样:black black de!! Bi Wo Hei!!haha x3 [sry lik yang^^]
⑤ 跟他认识多久:since 2009
④ 你想要怎样的生活:happy, free everyday de=)
⑤ 你喜欢自己吗:yup
⑥ 你喜欢音乐吗:yup
⑦ 你喜欢体育吗:a lil bit
⑧ 你喜欢跳舞吗:yup
⑨ 你很专情吗:everybody says so...coz i cant just forget someone so easily~
⑩ 你喜欢睡觉吗:ya
Ⅰ 你喜欢唱歌吗:NO!!!!

开始点名

1. Aly
2. Shock Hui
3. LiNa
4. Isabel
5. Lik Yang
6. DannySia
7. Becca
8. Tiffany Liew
9. Suusen
10.Yea en



「五号跟谁谈恋爱」
Go ask him lo..he din wan tell me=)

「一号是男的还是女的」
Female

「六号人很好吗」
ok ok a...

「九号很色吗」
A little bit=)

「七号跟三号在一起吗]
no~

「八号是单身吗]
I Think So=)

「十号喜欢一号吗」
Lesbian~!!!??? me tomoro go ask xia=)

「五号读那间学校」
RRSS

「六号喜欢谁」
Tidak Tahu



「二号喜欢唱歌吗」
当然~

「你爱七号吗]
I LOVE BECCA!!! haha *psst psst nt lesbians=)

「三号住哪]
美里

「十号跟你告白」
nah~

「四号有宠物吗」
no~


如果你有三个愿望,Tell me your wish :
①Family n frens happy happy~hopt that can find dao ci En lo...
②study hard n get scholarships to study overseas~
③Next stop: BF


xD

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Rawr!!!

She Doesnt Like Having Loljoi people...
But somehow she's quite loljoi at sometimes

She Doesnt Like eating food with sauce...
But She Still like to eat super salty food=)

she Doesnt like Reptiles...
But when she sees one
She'll go play with it=)

She's Quite allergic to animal fur..
But She still had her baobei Miko By her side everyday=)

She doesnt like to eat chilli..
But she loves LAKSA!!!

She Hates people giving her teddy bear..
Cause she only like Winnie The Pooh=)

She Likes Teddy bears...
But Hated peopel giving her...
n cause her nose doesnt like that..=(

She wanted to have a Boyfriend...
but she's Too ugly=(

She wanted to be tough...
but somehow just because of one subject I cried like a frwak in class...

She doesnt like people nagging...
but somehow she loved listening to my parents, grandmama's nagging=)

She Loves travvelin...
but she's afraid of heat=)
But when it comes to snowing places..
hmm...
i like it=)

She doesnt like eating fish...
but somehow our junior biology forced me to study all bout the fish in one chapter

She Loved listening to music...
but her mommy doesnt like her music

She loved pets..
bt her daddy only allowed one=)
Miko

Her mommy n daddy kept talking how annoying Miko are...
bt they still always loved Miko more than the three of us=(
*psst psst...saw it tru CCTV^^

She's afraid of the dark..
but she loved ghost n vampire novels=)

She doesnt like to wear dresses..
but she always dreamt of wearing one

She wanted to make her own decisions in making frens..
bt her mom n dad doesnt want to...

She wanted to go to paris..
but bo lui=(

She hated chinese...
but sometimes would like to watch chinese tv programmes...

She loved playing games n online...
but doesnt like to open her msn
*psst psst no wonder he kept saying me seldom on9 haha

She loved english
But She hates people speaking english with a double duper fast tempo=)

She hated those childish children...
but when she became an ajk for the orientation...
she's like a mommy taking care of them with lots of love*lolx

She loved arts n crafts
but her UEC arts&crafts got C=(
*sobs



These all..
the unique one...
hope that she will kept her promises good yea.
ho??joanna ho??!
haha..
happy chap goh mei=)

Happy Chap Goh Mei~!!!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Changes were made when time does pass

Looking at myself on the mirror while studying for my chemistry just now over n over, I cant help thinking that how many stupid choices that i had made during my teenage years, choosing the wrong directions, never listen to my dad n mom's advice n so so many more, i cant believe that i can stand until now, looking at my face, from non-panda-eyes to those black circles under my eyes during the study-up-late-for-maths in the year 2009, from those pimples that i had from form one till now still got a little bit due to eating too many chocolates n cappucinos n such, joining the brass band n not making sure that i got the right sunblock lotion n making my complexion being more n more black n dull, from my over-stressed primary school years causing my eyes to have short sightness n wearing dorky glasses until now wearing contacts, from my all-so-tangly hair to straight hairs, i finally realised that all these times i had changed...a lot, just to show the inner me out.

looking back at the memors me n my friends share during our secondary years, form one, joining the brass band n always have to listen to my dad's nagging of nt maintaining my schoolwork causing my schoolwork to become worse n finally quit my beloved bb, choosing the wrong path a.k.a choosing the path to be with Felix at the first place, trying to make friends with him by textig him at the first place. me being so bossy n gossiping all year round without actually sit down properly n study for 24 hors in form one...me being childish n such, these bad behaviours had affected me ever since.

Looking back on the year of 2008, the year that I had fallen in love with Felix again, finding the urge to get rid of my bad behaviours that i had in form one, quitting band n started my form one basics again ever since the death of my beloved grandfather. I will always look at my grandfather's photo over n over again n cried for the first three months when they started talking bout my grandfather. I always tried my best to hide my emotions in front of my friends n teachers in school n succesfully, i made it by not letting my tears out when they talked bout my grandfather. my results improved in form two n reached to 70 to 75 of average n targetting myself to 80 is a hard one as my chinese kept pulling me down n making myself very sad when looking back at my results, everything very good n perfect exept chinese, n sejarah of course. haix..as i was english educated ever since i was born n i only touched chinese when i Started my primary one. as i had my Pre-kindergarden in my dad's company which is all blondies n people like obama>< I only had the chance to speak chinese when i started kindergarden but havent had the chance to write chinese until I was seven.so that's why my english was middle-ok ok while my chinese is quite nyawa-nyawa ikan.

I started my piano lessons when i was four n started performing when i was six.that time was for our school concert n we had some kinda like orchestra n i went participating in it.that time was the best. i got the chance to wear a gown!!!I still had the dress though..until noe when i wanted to try it it does looked like a tee shirt to me right now=)

when i was in brunei, i started participating in wushu specialising in taichi n swordship, participating in atrs n crafts and alsoin basketball. but good things never came always. i was checked n toild that my nose had some kind of thing growing inside my nose n after i had the operation in cutting it my nose n my breathing system werent that good ever since. bt i insisted on participating these activities until primary four when i decided to quit all activities n recovered slowly.

Form three, i decided to have revenge on him. asking him out but actually ditching him for many times, studying with all my might to score as many a's as i can to make myself useful in the future, n many more. n finally i got 6a's with my chinese n sejarah b n for uec 1a4b1c...n my english got an a for it n was very thrilled when i heard the news.


right now n form four, i tried my best in scoring good marks for my results n make my mom proud, participating in dancing n arts n crafts, many more, i cant believe that time flies past so fast n yet nobody realised it. haix. times past n people changed. only the photo remained our faces n memories while the person in the photo changed a lot=)



Thank god i changed to the good side=)
next stop:Boyfriend=)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Voicing Out Like No Other




welll.....
loving someone is really a disaster...
ya seriously.....
I do have a feeling on him right now but....
I cant Love him....
He's too much alike like someone...
that draws me away from him...
he's really a great guy but erm....
if he's not so alike like HIM I might as well admit that i really fell for him...
nobody noes this yet bt most of my frens especially the new students kept saying that me n him were really like a couple...
bt no...
i dont want to be with him...
i promised myself that i wont love someone n have to be with him...

cause my heart havent been recovered from all the injuries that HE had got from me all these years...

So Hell yea....

Admit it...

#1 Focus on Ur Studies n Never ever Go And Text him Again

#2 He's nt wrth it for u to miss=(



Argh I So Darn wanna Say hell you

why do u have to appear when i wanna start a new life withouht falling into someone??